The reality of a dream...

For as long as I can remember, Kristian and I have talked about owning our own land and raising the children in the country.  Where exactly, we weren't sure, but what we wanted, that we were sure of.  Fast forward to the present, and we are "living the dream" so to speak.  What does living the dream look like for us though!?  It looks like hard work.  Capital H, capital W.  Not much here has been easy, in terms of getting things set up.  This is an excerpt from a blog post I was writing back in April this year, it sat there unfinished but as I re read it today it was a good reminder of how, slowly, things take their form.

Im not gonna lie.  Some days out here are really hard, and the things you appreciated the day before you might detest the very next day.   Yes we are living our dream, but at the core of that dream is a lot of really hard work and sacrifice.   We have no hot water, no indoor bathroom or toilet, Kristian and I don't have our own bedroom- we sleep out in the living area of the shed, we don't have a ride on mower- 30 acres and no ride on.  Little annoying things like no dressings on the windows yet, mean that when I stand in the kitchen to do the dishes (after I have boiled a kettle or two) the morning sun beams down on you like its intent on making sure you are hot and sweaty before 8am in the morning. Flies are in plague proportions which we can't really do anything about because we live with the roller door up and sliding door open just so we don't all suffocate and breathe in each others carbon dioxide.  To do a load of washing I need to plug in an extension cord inside and hang it out the window so it can reach the machine.  If I'm lucky I'll get to have a cold shower by myself in the outdoor shower, but more often than not, the neighbours horse is looking at me, or their dog- insert wide eyed blushing cheek emoticon. 

I am happy to report that since April, we have hot water, bless the risen Lord! We still don't have an indoor bathroom or toilet, but that doesn't really bother me anymore, its actually kinda nice.  We now own a ride on mower and a total of 10, sheep, four goats, and one cow, so these also act as very good lawn mowers!  We also have curtains, which might not seem like a big deal, but I'm a big scaredy cat at night and I feel much better at night having covered windows.....I mean hello, boogy monster! The washing machine has its own power point outside now, and although I have to cover it with plastic and a kids shell pool after each use (to keep it dry) its all good! Hubby and I still don't have our own bedroom, but the living room is as good as any and when the fireplace is on, quite cozy.

Why do I say all this. I say it to remind me, you, that every dream, will only ever be a dream unless you do something about it.  Laying dormant out there, just waiting for you to put action to it.  A big lesson I have learnt (still learning) in my life is to not play the comparison game.  Its debilitating and really serves no purpose.  There is no point comparing your life and your challenges that only you know you face, to someone else's seemingly perfect or happy life.  Behind every great dream is a reality.  There are the days I lose sight of the dream.  The reasons for us wanting to go on this adventure in the first place.  The thing is I have to remind myself that we are on a journey.  Journey, meaning it will take time. You know, if we had $2 mill to throw at this project (I'll leave our bank details at the end of the page)  and as nice as that would be its not our reality. There is something very satisfying about what we are doing. Even in the waiting, we are learning and growing and as much as we are busting to get things done, its ok that it will take time.  Its like growing a baby, its uncomfortable, and it stretches you, sometimes leaving its mark, but you know what awaits you at the end is a beautiful God given creation.  I can say Kristian and I have never worked harder, and thats a reality.  With every decision we make, there are dollars and time attached to it and I can confidently say the thing that makes it seem easier or all worth it, is that its OUR dream!  We are on our way to being able to eat food we have grown and raised on our own land, we are giving the children the childhood we so desperately wanted for them and we are happy.  Sometimes physically exhausted, but happy.   

One hot day I was shovelling a massive pile of crusher dust onto the trailer shovel by shovel.  Peppa was standing in the trailer with a broom kinda moving it to the back of the trailer.  At one point I got over it and looking at the pile I said "Far out there is still so much to do", and Peppa said to me "Mum thats because you're looking at the big pile in front you and not at all the stuff you've already shovelled into the trailer".  I love a childlike perspective to get you refocused.  (Phillipians 3 vs13,14)  Look how far we/you've come, and be encouraged.

The reality of a dream, is that you are awake, and present and everything you do is shaping it and breathing life into it. 

Eliza x

ps. I will do a blog post soon with some more specific photos or videos of some of the things we've been up to around here.